Spring Break: San Diego, Bro
MARÍA ^^
It would appear that I need to start this blog by firstly, retracting a statement I made in my last post, where I referred to Hannah, as my new-found bestie. I had briefly, in a moment of what can only be described as utter insanity, completely forgotten that the title of bestie was already taken by Megan. Hannah is my number one bae... Both equally important titles.
Secondly, I need to publicly apologise to María who was not mentioned in my previous post, which is bizarre because clearly she is a very beautiful and wonderful individual and very funny and the reason for my laughter... or something along those lines...
Okay, everyone happy now? I'll try not to piss anyone off this time.
San Diego: Day One
SO.
We arrived at our Air BnB in Mission Hills, San Diego on Saturday 18th March at about 9pm... just in case there was a crime or anything at that time, that's where we were, okay?
In hindsight, I'm not sure it was the best location, but I didn't have much to do with the organisation process. The thing is, I'm very lazy and the Europeans were very much on top of the situation; I just kind of agreed and paid without even looking at the options they suggested.
Although there were some nice restaurants on India Street - a short walk from where we were staying - and it was close to Old Town, it probably would have been nicer to stay somewhere more central or near the coast, like Ocean Beach or Downtown. It wasn't too much of an issue since we had a car, but it gave us less freedom as individuals and meant we had to spend most of our time together and on the same schedule. Not an ideal situation for five girls, sharing one bathroom... especially considering one of them was me and I have severe time management issues.
Sorry, guys!
Sorry, guys!
The apartment was super cute and it had a bazillion towels and loads of bottles of shampoo, but no shower gel or soap. That was kind of weird, but the towels were really nice... even if half of them looked the same and there was a high chance of confusion and accidental sharing. Mine was always easy to find though, because it was most likely in a damp pile on the floor of the living room or somewhere else equally inappropriate and disgusting.
There were two double beds, one about a foot wider than the other, and a sofa bed. As Indigo drove, it seemed fair that she got to choose her bed first and she went with the smaller double bed, without noticing how much smaller it was. I had an assignment to finish, so I just told them I'd sleep wherever, but I ended up in the smaller bed with Indigo. It might be worth noting here that both Indigo and I are around 5'10. I woke up several times during the night and in the morning found myself scrunched up in the top corner... Indigo was lying diagonally across the entire bed. Meeri and María are tiny by the way, and somehow ended up in the bigger bed.
But you know... like it's chill... whatever... it's not like I'm still bitter about it... I don't even care.
The next morning, I was in a bad mood because I hadn't got much sleep and also, I was really hungry and so everyone decided to test my patience by spending ages getting ready to go food shopping. People spending ages getting ready isn't something I have any right to get mad about, but I was really hungry and sleep deprived and... like shut up, I'll get mad if I wanna get mad. Eventually we left to the nearest supermarket to buy food. Hannah made smoothies, I wanted to fry some vegetables but couldn't work out how to use the stove, and everyone else drank lots of coffee and I was jealous because I love coffee but caffeine just isn't my friend. We were then ready to leave for Balboa Park... except for me and then everyone else was a little annoyed.
(They look low-key angry because they're waiting on me and I'm just taking photos... lol when bae doesn't realise she's in the picture)
Balboa Park is basically just a big old park. Well like, okay.. technically, there's more to it than that. If you're a big spender, you can enjoy museums, theatres, restaurants, gift shops and expensive featured gardens (which probably weren't actually that expensive... we're just super poor). For our purposes, it was just a big old park with some free gardens, fountains, street performers and hundreds of whiny children. Probably not hundreds, but if you were going to visit this park I'd advise you to go on a weekday when it's not ridiculously sunny because otherwise there probably will be gremlins brats children...
It was really warm and sunny when we went, so we had a nice time walking around, not getting a tan and getting cute pictures of me in my second trimester.
(that was a joke, clearly I am not pregnant... but I am throwing out that shirt)
(that was a joke, clearly I am not pregnant... but I am throwing out that shirt)
Me, María, Indigo, Meeri and Hannah
I think the best thing about it was that it was patrolled by little old people in golf carts who volunteer as security. Either that, or the street performers. These two black guys drew a huge crowd because they were being super weird and impressive with like... acrobatic stuff, I don't really know what you'd call it, they were mostly just yelling stuff, to be honest. Also, they were really funny and low-key racist, in a non-offensive way. I'm not sure if that's possible, it was mostly against asians and themselves, to be honest, but no one seemed offended. At one point a police car drove past with sirens and they both dropped to their knees and put their hands behind their heads. I'm not going to lie, I was a little offended when he said white people have no rhythm... like I don't, but way to hit me where it hurts. Honestly, though we mainly paid them for the laughs because after fifteen minutes of build up, all that happened was this one guy jumped over four people and did some kind of back flip thing and then jumped into another man's arms.
Wow. Only a complete pessimist could've written that sentence. I mean... Obviously it was impressive, what I meant was there was a huge build up and it lasted like ten seconds... Ladies, you know what I'm saying ;) AYYYYEEE.
Okay, so next stop of the day was Old Town. Old town is a neighbourhood in San Diego and, as the name indicates, it's the oldest settled town in San Diego (Wikipedia has my back). In my opinion, it wasn't really anything special, it was just kind of weird. It was like America doing an impression of Mexico. The food seemed very authentic, from my experience, and it looked kind of Mexicany in some parts, but the atmosphere felt like a forced American version. I know that it doesn't really make any sense but the only way I can explain it is 'fake authentic Mexico'.
After wandering around a park all morning in the sun, we were tired and grumpy and hungry, so after what felt like forever searching for a parking space, we finally found one and made our way to the food. We settled on a Mexican restaurant, because... that's basically all there was, and fortunately they were playing country music. I LOOOOVE country music - which I know is a huge shocker to most people because it's generally upbeat and I'm generally not, but it's probably my favourite genre of music. I rarely hear a country song that I don't like. I knew all the words to every song they played and I made sure everyone else knew that I knew all the words to every song they played. My friends were very happy to leave.
Next, we found a part of Old Town with lots of shops and stuff. Hannah and I were being loud and annoying and laughing at things that weren't that funny, then we got extra immature, when she found a $1 tile that she believed looked like a vulva. I responded by making it my mission to find one that had phallic qualities.
We now use them as coasters... They're like friendship coasters, apparently that's a thing now.
As I was paying for my penis tile, we noticed some worry dolls on the counter. The idea of a worry doll is that you tell it your worries and overnight it solves them for you. Cute, right? They were teeny, tiny and, as we were browsing through them, the cashier told us that they came in more sizes and brought over two baskets of medium and large worry dolls.
Hannah's response to this was something like "Oh cool, is it like the bigger the worry the bigger the doll? I'm going to need a lot of these!" and the cashier kind of looked at her with a like "uhh, yeah, I guess... I mean it's just like a gimmick, you know that, right?" expression on her face so I replied for her with "I don't think it works like that, Hannah. I think what you're looking for is a therapist." ... More strange looks from the cashier.
When we returned to find our friends, two of them were sitting outside a shop and one of them was inside the store. After we took some cute photos of Meeri and María on the bench, they asked where we had been and Hannah shouted "I got my vulva, she got a penis and we both got worry dolls."
Did I mention it was a Sunday afternoon and there were lots of children around?
Our final stop of the day was Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery. It was one of the most surreal places I've ever been, you can't tell how huge it was from my less than average photograph, but Wikipedia has informed me that the entire cemetery is 77.5km.
In the evening we went out to eat at a British pub - WOOO FUCK YEAH. REPRESENT.
The best thing about it (other than the fact that it was British and reminded me of all the things I forgot I liked about home), was that as we were walking towards it, I read out the sign: "Shakespeare's Bar and Grille: Real Beer, Proper Food, No Bollocks." and started laughing. I think I also said "oh my god, bollocks. I miss bollocks" to which Indigo replied something along the lines of "I love bollocks". Both pretty funny statements as they are, and not really an unusual sentence to come out of my mouth, but Hannah and I (native English speakers) asked Indigo if she actually knew what it meant. In the sense the sign was referring to, it was clear from Indigo's attempt at an explanation that she knew what the sign was communicating... She knew what bollocks meant, but she didn't know what bollocks were.
"TESTICLES", Hannah loudly announced as we passed a group of people.
Indigo responded by saying that she still liked saying it and the way it sounded, and Hannah followed up with "I just love the way testicles rolls off my tongue".
I've never been to hell, but I imagine it's something like having a UTI, while wearing a playsuit, on a road trip.
If you're wondering why I'm mentioning this, it's because this is exactly what happened to me on our second day and it was very sad. I know that on some level this is TMI, but on some level I'm always sharing too much and that's just who I am as a person. Also, in hindsight, it's actually pretty funny. The worst thing about this UTI is that it wasn't even as a result of too much sex, which just doesn't seem fair. Usually I assume UTIs are some form of punishment but I've been good/no one wants to have sex with me.... Umm... Okay, moving on.
The thing is, I didn't actually fully realise there was a problem until we'd already left the house and by this point it was too late - I was already wearing a playsuit, we were already in the car and within ten minutes I was in completely agony and regretting all my choices. Mainly my choice to leave a facility with a restroom...
The first stop was some lay-by in Coronado with a nice view. I sulked in the car, but everyone else got some nice pictures. Then we went to Coronado beach. I liked Coronado beach. There was a toilet.
I would've happily stayed there much longer than we did, but apparently no one else was as interested in being near a bathroom as I was... Apart from maybe Hannah, because she drinks too much and pees like a pregnant lady.
Next we drove to Tijuana river and the Mexican border. Tijuana is a teeny, tiny, unremarkable river and there are no toilets anywhere near it, as far as I know. We somehow stumbled across a petting zoo - I honestly don't know why that happened - but everyone else got out and played with some goats and stuff and I sat in the car and cried... because UTIs are the worst and there were no bathrooms, okay?! Also, I'm a little bitch when I'm in pain.
I was mainly crying because I had realised there was just no way I could help myself out of this situation. Obviously, since I deduced that I didn't get the UTI from all the crazy sex I'm not having, I figured I probably got it from being hot and dehydrated. As we'd been driving a lot, I wasn't drinking very much because I didn't want to have to pee all the time... Yes, I see the irony. I just needed to rehydrate myself and then I'd feel better, but I already had to pee every 5-10 minutes and I didn't see how adding fluids to the situation would help... I was fucked.
By the time they returned from petting goats or whatever and we started driving back to the city for lunch, I was very sad and grumpy... extra sad and grumpy. Understandably so, because of my situation but also a little bit because of who I am as a person. We made our way to downtown, which I was excited about because there's gotta be some toilets there, but I was so mad in the car I was like "I'll just Uber back home from Downtown, it's chill, whatever. *sobs*"
However, when we got there I still had to pee - obviously - so instead of sulkily Ubering myself away from the social occasion, I joined on the restaurant/toilet hunt. I didn't feel like eating, but I stayed with them to take advantage of the free water and nearby restroom.
... Maybe I'll stop talking about my bladder now, I feel like the point has been made. In summary, I spent most of the rest of the afternoon wandering around looking for toilets... oh and like sight seeing and whatever.
After lunch, we explored downtown a bit and then we had to move the car. Hannah and I really had to pee, so we decided to walk to Sea Village, look for a toilet along the way and meet everyone else there. It was a nice, sunny day and we had a nice walk, talked about everything in the world, stopped off in some beach shops, got Starbucks and sat by the sea to drink them. My phone was almost dead, but luckily we just kind of bumped into the rest of the group and then we all made our way back to the car together and lived happily ever after.
The car was parked by this enormous kissing statue and I had one of those rare moments when I actually considered the idea of a relationship as a positive thing. I said "I need a boyfriend, so that he can kiss me in front of this statue and make a cute Insta post... but I don't need him after that." I stand by that statement. I wish temporary boyfriends were a thing. #boyfriendsfortheinsta
Final stop of the day was Sunset Cliffs to see the sunset - original, right? We took many, many, many adorable photos and timelapses and selfies and videos and Snapchats and Instagram stories... because we're basic bitches, and then we upped our basic bitch statuses with vegan junk food. I'm pretty sure it was one of my favourite evenings of the entire trip - my UTI was pretty much gone by this point-
OH MY GOD, NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR UTI
- and then we went back to our Air BnB with our gluten free vegan cheesecakes.
Clearly I don't need a boyfriend, I could've just made out with Hannah in front of the statue.
After wandering around a park all morning in the sun, we were tired and grumpy and hungry, so after what felt like forever searching for a parking space, we finally found one and made our way to the food. We settled on a Mexican restaurant, because... that's basically all there was, and fortunately they were playing country music. I LOOOOVE country music - which I know is a huge shocker to most people because it's generally upbeat and I'm generally not, but it's probably my favourite genre of music. I rarely hear a country song that I don't like. I knew all the words to every song they played and I made sure everyone else knew that I knew all the words to every song they played. My friends were very happy to leave.
Next, we found a part of Old Town with lots of shops and stuff. Hannah and I were being loud and annoying and laughing at things that weren't that funny, then we got extra immature, when she found a $1 tile that she believed looked like a vulva. I responded by making it my mission to find one that had phallic qualities.
We now use them as coasters... They're like friendship coasters, apparently that's a thing now.
Hannah's response to this was something like "Oh cool, is it like the bigger the worry the bigger the doll? I'm going to need a lot of these!" and the cashier kind of looked at her with a like "uhh, yeah, I guess... I mean it's just like a gimmick, you know that, right?" expression on her face so I replied for her with "I don't think it works like that, Hannah. I think what you're looking for is a therapist." ... More strange looks from the cashier.
When we returned to find our friends, two of them were sitting outside a shop and one of them was inside the store. After we took some cute photos of Meeri and María on the bench, they asked where we had been and Hannah shouted "I got my vulva, she got a penis and we both got worry dolls."
Did I mention it was a Sunday afternoon and there were lots of children around?
Our final stop of the day was Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery. It was one of the most surreal places I've ever been, you can't tell how huge it was from my less than average photograph, but Wikipedia has informed me that the entire cemetery is 77.5km.
In the evening we went out to eat at a British pub - WOOO FUCK YEAH. REPRESENT.
The best thing about it (other than the fact that it was British and reminded me of all the things I forgot I liked about home), was that as we were walking towards it, I read out the sign: "Shakespeare's Bar and Grille: Real Beer, Proper Food, No Bollocks." and started laughing. I think I also said "oh my god, bollocks. I miss bollocks" to which Indigo replied something along the lines of "I love bollocks". Both pretty funny statements as they are, and not really an unusual sentence to come out of my mouth, but Hannah and I (native English speakers) asked Indigo if she actually knew what it meant. In the sense the sign was referring to, it was clear from Indigo's attempt at an explanation that she knew what the sign was communicating... She knew what bollocks meant, but she didn't know what bollocks were.
"TESTICLES", Hannah loudly announced as we passed a group of people.
Indigo responded by saying that she still liked saying it and the way it sounded, and Hannah followed up with "I just love the way testicles rolls off my tongue".
San Diego: Day 2
I've never been to hell, but I imagine it's something like having a UTI, while wearing a playsuit, on a road trip.
If you're wondering why I'm mentioning this, it's because this is exactly what happened to me on our second day and it was very sad. I know that on some level this is TMI, but on some level I'm always sharing too much and that's just who I am as a person. Also, in hindsight, it's actually pretty funny. The worst thing about this UTI is that it wasn't even as a result of too much sex, which just doesn't seem fair. Usually I assume UTIs are some form of punishment but I've been good/no one wants to have sex with me.... Umm... Okay, moving on.
The thing is, I didn't actually fully realise there was a problem until we'd already left the house and by this point it was too late - I was already wearing a playsuit, we were already in the car and within ten minutes I was in completely agony and regretting all my choices. Mainly my choice to leave a facility with a restroom...
The first stop was some lay-by in Coronado with a nice view. I sulked in the car, but everyone else got some nice pictures. Then we went to Coronado beach. I liked Coronado beach. There was a toilet.
I would've happily stayed there much longer than we did, but apparently no one else was as interested in being near a bathroom as I was... Apart from maybe Hannah, because she drinks too much and pees like a pregnant lady.
Next we drove to Tijuana river and the Mexican border. Tijuana is a teeny, tiny, unremarkable river and there are no toilets anywhere near it, as far as I know. We somehow stumbled across a petting zoo - I honestly don't know why that happened - but everyone else got out and played with some goats and stuff and I sat in the car and cried... because UTIs are the worst and there were no bathrooms, okay?! Also, I'm a little bitch when I'm in pain.
I was mainly crying because I had realised there was just no way I could help myself out of this situation. Obviously, since I deduced that I didn't get the UTI from all the crazy sex I'm not having, I figured I probably got it from being hot and dehydrated. As we'd been driving a lot, I wasn't drinking very much because I didn't want to have to pee all the time... Yes, I see the irony. I just needed to rehydrate myself and then I'd feel better, but I already had to pee every 5-10 minutes and I didn't see how adding fluids to the situation would help... I was fucked.
By the time they returned from petting goats or whatever and we started driving back to the city for lunch, I was very sad and grumpy... extra sad and grumpy. Understandably so, because of my situation but also a little bit because of who I am as a person. We made our way to downtown, which I was excited about because there's gotta be some toilets there, but I was so mad in the car I was like "I'll just Uber back home from Downtown, it's chill, whatever. *sobs*"
However, when we got there I still had to pee - obviously - so instead of sulkily Ubering myself away from the social occasion, I joined on the restaurant/toilet hunt. I didn't feel like eating, but I stayed with them to take advantage of the free water and nearby restroom.
... Maybe I'll stop talking about my bladder now, I feel like the point has been made. In summary, I spent most of the rest of the afternoon wandering around looking for toilets... oh and like sight seeing and whatever.
..... For the egos of any men I've slept with, I really hope I'm better at faking orgasms than I am at faking smiles. AAAAYYYYEEEE. ;)
After lunch, we explored downtown a bit and then we had to move the car. Hannah and I really had to pee, so we decided to walk to Sea Village, look for a toilet along the way and meet everyone else there. It was a nice, sunny day and we had a nice walk, talked about everything in the world, stopped off in some beach shops, got Starbucks and sat by the sea to drink them. My phone was almost dead, but luckily we just kind of bumped into the rest of the group and then we all made our way back to the car together and lived happily ever after.
Starbs for life.
The car was parked by this enormous kissing statue and I had one of those rare moments when I actually considered the idea of a relationship as a positive thing. I said "I need a boyfriend, so that he can kiss me in front of this statue and make a cute Insta post... but I don't need him after that." I stand by that statement. I wish temporary boyfriends were a thing. #boyfriendsfortheinsta
Final stop of the day was Sunset Cliffs to see the sunset - original, right? We took many, many, many adorable photos and timelapses and selfies and videos and Snapchats and Instagram stories... because we're basic bitches, and then we upped our basic bitch statuses with vegan junk food. I'm pretty sure it was one of my favourite evenings of the entire trip - my UTI was pretty much gone by this point-
OH MY GOD, NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR UTI
- and then we went back to our Air BnB with our gluten free vegan cheesecakes.
Clearly I don't need a boyfriend, I could've just made out with Hannah in front of the statue.
San Diego: Day 2 and 1/2
On our final day, before driving back to Los Angeles for the remainder of the week, we hit up another beach! La Jolla, (pronounced la hoy-ah), is a pretty big beach and we spent an hour or two relaxing in the sun. We also went to the ocean and took some adorable pictures and Boomerangs for Instagram (and for our own personal memories and fulfilment etc.) and then I got a little bored and started planking... the obvious cure for all boredom...
Meeri responded by sitting on me because "princesses don't sit on the ground".
After a mini beach workout, including deadlifting and squatting Meeri, we went to find food.
We found a cute little sushi place and sat outside in the sun and Hannah embarrassed herself, once again, by brushing her hair back and 'accidentally' touching the man behind her. I think she swept her hair onto his shoulder or something, I can't be entirely sure, but the whole thing was hilarious. He was clearly on a date and we made the whole thing much worse by saying things like "HANNAH, YOU CAN'T JUST TOUCH PEOPLE. SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE THAT. HAVE SOME SELF CONTROL. I'M SO SORRY ABOUT HER" and then she was mortified.
It got even worse when someone, I forget who, was trying to fit a big piece of sushi into their mouth, resulting in an innuendo, leading to a loud conversation about sex, concluding in this guy and his girlfriend moving inside. It was a lovely sunny day, perfect temperature, no breeze... I can only conclude they were trying to get away from us.
I don't blame them.
So after ruining their afternoon date, we made our way back to LA.
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